Boyfriend and I are taking a pretty big step in our relationship tomorrow. Yes yes moving in together was step, though for us not as big as it could be, but this step is somehow more intense. New friends of ours, Pepper Mint and Jen Day, write furiously, activate for, and instruct classes at various locations on the subject of polyamory. While he and I have been practicing, myself more than he, we are finding that to move forward in our current relationship we must receive some outside guidance. No this isn't like marriage counseling where we try to put back the pieces that have fallen apart, but more of a business plan meeting with outside help ready to facilitate our own brainpower on expectations, boundaries, assumptions, and helpful communication skills.
I have to admit I am excited and scared about the venture. While we both know we care deeply about each other and that we want to see ourselves happy, healthy, and independent, I wonder what will happen if our expectations and boundaries don't match. Does that mean that they cannot change or is there room for growth and integration?
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Profile of a Peepshow
I've realized, dear readers, that I have relayed so many snippets about my life at the Lusty Lady peepshow without explaining what the Lusty Lady is.
For first time customers the Lusty Lady peepshow can be an intimidating and confusing place. One walks into the entrance to find a soda machine and a massive amount of porn DVDs on the left, a huge desk with a scruffy looking Support Staff member ready to make change but usually not conversation on the right, dingy patterned carpet below them, and a mirrored and red draped hallway leading to the insides. Behind blue doors sit ancient video machines that play a wide selection of porn (and sometimes cartoons for men who just want to be distracted, not turned on). In the halls one can hear a cacophony of moaning and slapping from them and often squealing and giggling from behind the red doors of the main stage.
Half oval shaped, mirrored, and red carpeted, the main stage is encircled by twelve dark booths, ten for single occupancy that reveal nothing but the head and shoulders of the patron and sits about waist high on the dancer and two "couples booths" located at the front corners of the stage equipped with a bench seat and a much larger window. In these booths couples are strongly encouraged, often harassed into by the dancers, playing and fucking, quite the treat for the overwhelmingly bi-curious majority dancer population. More often than not though the occupants of these booths are exhibitionist men who enjoy having the performer react and perform for their whole selves.
When I first started working at the Lusty I was most certainly shocked at being able to see the patrons puffing and shaking as they pleasured themselves to my image. Although my boyfriend and I had been to the Lusty as consumers before I had no idea how well the dancers could actually see into the tiny dark booths or how little they could hear of us inside. Now naked on the other side of the glass I can appreciate the experience from both sides: anonymity vs. total exposure, entrapment vs. freedom, voyeur vs. exhibitionist.
For $1 the shade will lift revealing three fully nude women of various ages, shapes, ethnicity, and accessories while a variety of semi-loud music ranging from rap to bluegrass, from Guns n Roses to Elvis plays in the background. Being a co-op where the wages are level and competition and hustling is unnecessary the feel of the show is general sensuous, fun, and relaxed. Patrons are free to change booths to find the dancer that appeals most to their fantasies, in most cases a move that isn't critical of the dancer they are leaving. Dancers receiving positive feedback from specific customer may offer their name and the next time they are in Private Pleasures, but no real push is ever dished. Patrons are also lucky to witness sincere positive interactions between the dancers themselves, true friendships, sexual flirtations, and story swapping.
Across the hall, away from the hubbub of the lobby and near the double-doored restrooms, is the Private Pleasures booth, a small one-on-one fantasy talk booth where customers can get more personal attention. Inside shows start at $20 and can range from simple spread, masturbation, and toy shows to humiliation, sub, ass worship, or practically anything else they can imagine. Essentially, the more explicit the show the more expensive it is. For some performers the proximity can be overwhelming and undesirable, but the prospect of getting a higher hourly wage and a percentage of the earnings keeps them from turning the shifts away. Others, myself included, generally enjoy the unique experience and the strange variety of customers and requests.
While there are always a few visitors that can't get past the funky smell (which cant be masked by fragrances because of sensitive-nosed employees) or the strange smears, the Lusty lady is the perfect place for safe sexual exploration. With encouraging staff and a balance between privacy and exposure, the peepshow can be a place of refuge for some and exhilaration for others. Some patrons will only stop in one once on a pit stop in their travels, others are marathon men, returning day after day or weekly as part of routine. No matter what the kink, gender, orientation, fantasy, or frequency of the customer, the Lusty Ladies never turn them away.
For first time customers the Lusty Lady peepshow can be an intimidating and confusing place. One walks into the entrance to find a soda machine and a massive amount of porn DVDs on the left, a huge desk with a scruffy looking Support Staff member ready to make change but usually not conversation on the right, dingy patterned carpet below them, and a mirrored and red draped hallway leading to the insides. Behind blue doors sit ancient video machines that play a wide selection of porn (and sometimes cartoons for men who just want to be distracted, not turned on). In the halls one can hear a cacophony of moaning and slapping from them and often squealing and giggling from behind the red doors of the main stage.
Half oval shaped, mirrored, and red carpeted, the main stage is encircled by twelve dark booths, ten for single occupancy that reveal nothing but the head and shoulders of the patron and sits about waist high on the dancer and two "couples booths" located at the front corners of the stage equipped with a bench seat and a much larger window. In these booths couples are strongly encouraged, often harassed into by the dancers, playing and fucking, quite the treat for the overwhelmingly bi-curious majority dancer population. More often than not though the occupants of these booths are exhibitionist men who enjoy having the performer react and perform for their whole selves.
When I first started working at the Lusty I was most certainly shocked at being able to see the patrons puffing and shaking as they pleasured themselves to my image. Although my boyfriend and I had been to the Lusty as consumers before I had no idea how well the dancers could actually see into the tiny dark booths or how little they could hear of us inside. Now naked on the other side of the glass I can appreciate the experience from both sides: anonymity vs. total exposure, entrapment vs. freedom, voyeur vs. exhibitionist.
For $1 the shade will lift revealing three fully nude women of various ages, shapes, ethnicity, and accessories while a variety of semi-loud music ranging from rap to bluegrass, from Guns n Roses to Elvis plays in the background. Being a co-op where the wages are level and competition and hustling is unnecessary the feel of the show is general sensuous, fun, and relaxed. Patrons are free to change booths to find the dancer that appeals most to their fantasies, in most cases a move that isn't critical of the dancer they are leaving. Dancers receiving positive feedback from specific customer may offer their name and the next time they are in Private Pleasures, but no real push is ever dished. Patrons are also lucky to witness sincere positive interactions between the dancers themselves, true friendships, sexual flirtations, and story swapping.
Across the hall, away from the hubbub of the lobby and near the double-doored restrooms, is the Private Pleasures booth, a small one-on-one fantasy talk booth where customers can get more personal attention. Inside shows start at $20 and can range from simple spread, masturbation, and toy shows to humiliation, sub, ass worship, or practically anything else they can imagine. Essentially, the more explicit the show the more expensive it is. For some performers the proximity can be overwhelming and undesirable, but the prospect of getting a higher hourly wage and a percentage of the earnings keeps them from turning the shifts away. Others, myself included, generally enjoy the unique experience and the strange variety of customers and requests.
While there are always a few visitors that can't get past the funky smell (which cant be masked by fragrances because of sensitive-nosed employees) or the strange smears, the Lusty lady is the perfect place for safe sexual exploration. With encouraging staff and a balance between privacy and exposure, the peepshow can be a place of refuge for some and exhilaration for others. Some patrons will only stop in one once on a pit stop in their travels, others are marathon men, returning day after day or weekly as part of routine. No matter what the kink, gender, orientation, fantasy, or frequency of the customer, the Lusty Ladies never turn them away.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Wrap Up
Oh gosh, what a whirlwind week! And unfortunately it isn't anywhere near closed with my friends wedding tomorrow and me being her maid of honor. What a strange concept 'maid of honor' is. Its real title should be 'the most responsible member of the bridal party to which most responsibilities will be delegated and suffered.' Alas, all will be well at the party and Im sure much joy and passion will erupt from their union.
Maybe a blog on the concept of marriage will be on my horizons if I ever get time...
Anyways....
This week truly has been a tornado of happenings and stirrings. At the Peepshow I am taking on more and more administrative responsibility whilst still doing my best on the live stage. I trained (and became more intimate with than we had been previously) one of my very best friends from middle and high school in the Private Pleasures booth. Her name is Eve and seems to be quite the sensation. If you are a patron of the ol' LL I highly recommend you check her.
Polyamory is becoming less of a concept and more of a practice for my Boyfriend and I as we navigate the rocking waves of the relationship seas. Since we began living together this past month we are having to adapt to one another anew and how we relate to our outside interests, a task which has been frustrating, exciting, and emotionally binding and I am truly thankful for the patience and guidance of outside lovers.
Scrap for cash and wanting to experiment I have started my own clips4sale site (previously mentioned, I know) with the concept of outsiders being able to peak into the often exciting sexual world of Sandy Bottoms, in whatever form that may take. If interested my clip store is located at http://www.clips4sale.com/store/39555 and I am always willing and happy to take advise and suggestions.
This week I have also offcially started my path to law school! Ill be taking the LSATs this October and will be taking a very expensive (hence the maniacal work ethic) and time consuming Kaplan prep course the rest of the summer. If all goes well I will be able to apply for schools in the Winter and start at some Bay Area school this coming fall.
In case you are ever wondering where I have run off to I really am not too far! Give me patience and positive thoughts and I will continue to record my journey.
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