Saturday, July 31, 2010

Preliminary Thoughts

Boyfriend and I are taking a pretty big step in our relationship tomorrow. Yes yes moving in together was step, though for us not as big as it could be, but this step is somehow more intense. New friends of ours, Pepper Mint and Jen Day, write furiously, activate for, and instruct classes at various locations on the subject of polyamory. While he and I have been practicing, myself more than he, we are finding that to move forward in our current relationship we must receive some outside guidance. No this isn't like marriage counseling where we try to put back the pieces that have fallen apart, but more of a business plan meeting with outside help ready to facilitate our own brainpower on expectations, boundaries, assumptions, and helpful communication skills.

I have to admit I am excited and scared about the venture. While we both know we care deeply about each other and that we want to see ourselves happy, healthy, and independent, I wonder what will happen if our expectations and boundaries don't match. Does that mean that they cannot change or is there room for growth and integration?


  1. Hey Sandy :)

    Speaking as having done the poly thing myself 9and still doing it), it's like any other relationship. Compromise and understanding are all part of it...

    You'll do fine - just keep your mind open to the fact that expectations may not match to begin with - but know in advance the things that you can compromise on, and the things that are essential to you!

    Good Luck ;)


    (MrWolfe at KISS)

  2. Congratulations and good luck to you both!

  3. Thank you Judge and Simon for the encouragement and kind words. The sit down went rather smoothly and it was refreshing to hear the journey and experiences of others and to have moderators help us communicate our own.