Yay, I am officially done with the LSATs and I don't think I did too terribly on them, alas I will not know until November 1st. Next step to figuring out my life in this next year is to start gathering law school applications and letters of recommendation, writing and editing my admission' essays, and start making some decisions. While there is really only one family member pushing me to go back to school asap, I'm still quite unsure about what I want to do. On one hand I would love to be out and done with law school by the time I'm 24, but I also feel to young to start such a heavy career and I don't want to give up my lifestyle. I really feel like I am able to find myself now, center on what is important to me, and identify with others better than ever before, which I'm afraid may all be lost, or at least placed on a long hold, if I were to go back immediately.
Being a child borne of chaos I actively strove for schedule and stability, through high school and college, in all facets of my life. I rushed through my college experience, planning everything from my first year to the last. The past year, some of which has been spent still in school, I have never felt more grounded or centered while being less self-contained and active in the world around me and I'm certainly not ready to risk having anything stunted. Part of me thinks this fear is unfounded and that change can only happen if I want it to, but the thought of it possibly being inevitable with a heavier study load and additional rigor to my everyday agenda keeps creeping in on me.
Spontaneity, creativity, and progression have spoiled me I suppose.