SF Under 40 Poly Cafe Social

When my partner and I first opened our relationship we knew the only way we could do so comfortably would be to surround ourselves with accepting sex-positive kinky polyamorous folk. Starting to indulge in local polyamory events and munches we quickly discovered that we were usually the youngest of the bunch (by a couple decades) and, although we can communicate freely and with others outside our generation, it could certainly be isolating and intimidating for such newbs. On the verge of giving up (really), we stumbled upon Pepper Mint and Jen's SF Under 40 Poly Cafe Social, a small ever changing group whose purpose is none other than to give young poly (or poly curious) people a comfortable space to  socialize with each other.

*sigh* How perfect.

A year later I am still attending the monthly cafe social, gaining professional and personal contacts, forming friendships, and allowing myself to be immersed, if even for a short time once a month, in an environment unquestioning of my inter-relationship intentions. Having started this group a few years ago and moving on to larger and more time consuming events, Pepper asked me if I would be interested in eventually taking over the group, to which I responded a prompt "Of Course!"

At first I was unsure about posting any information about the group through my Sandy Bottoms persona, afraid that the over-sexualized figure would obscure my real self and intentions, however having more connections through Sandy and no major issues with persona confusion in the past I think those fears can be put in the past.

To all you non-monogomous young Bay Areans looking for a laid back and safe space to socialize with others just like you consider this an open invitation to San Francisco's only Under 40 Poly Cafe munch occurring every 3rd Monday from 7 to 10 pm at the one a only Wicked Grounds!

Next one:

What: SF Under 40 Poly Cafe Social

Who: You! Poly or non-monogomous (curious, new, experienced) people under age 40. 40-and-over partners and lovers of people under 40 are also welcome, though we ask that you attend the same night as your partner.

When: Monday February 21, 2011 at 7pm (Every 3rd Monday) Feel free to stay the entire time or stop by briefly.

Where: Wicked Grounds Coffeehouse
             289 8th St., San Francisco, CA 94103

No dress code or cost though we ask that everyone attending purchase something to support our friends and supporters at Wicked Grounds.

Thoughts/Wants/Wishes/Goals/Desires/Musings/Hopes for the next year

-write a book
-network more for myself and community
-love unconditionally
-be loved unconditionally
-do yoga once a week
-be a good Madam
-process before I act
-receive a love letter (perhaps write one too)
-light more candles
-go on more road trips
-be a muse
-find the muse within myself
-pimp out my tortoise's habitat
-learn to sew a dress (a decent one!)
-be more patient
-expect to be treated with respect and intention
-purchase and use a typewriter (a fancy pink one would be nice...)
-be more thoughtful and spontaneous
-come out to more family members
-organize my closet
-adopt a fuzzy animal (conditional upon organizing the closet so says Boyfriend)
-eat more organic produce
-be completely naked on stage more often

Remembering to Breathe

One month ago I was hired by the the Lusty Lady to be the new Lead Madam and have been busy in training ever since. Despite working at a peepshow this position is not unlike any other "manager" position, though perhaps even a bit more important to our cooperative business model than that of the general hierarchical administrative heads of others. Although I am hired to do a job separate from the dancers I am still part of the whole and my tasks not only effect everyone around me but myself as an individual dancer as well.

Aside from gaining a fairytale new title (yes, madams and mistresses are always included in my fairy tales) I now have even more responsibility at my beloved place of business. With that responsibility, which I already know will be weighty and rough, comes the opportunity to make my own lasting impact on the place that I consider to have been my gateway into another world; a world that I had only dreamed of being about to peek into a year and a half ago. A world of community, safety, acknowledgment, and aspirations.

Blah, blah, blah followed by an idealistic statement or two....

Although I am fully enthralled at the prospect of having a positive lasting impact at the Lusty Lady and know, for whatever reason, that I have many of the characteristics that build a strong administrator I am scared. Please read, I am not scared of the tasks, of not being liked, or of the unimagined potential burdens, but of losing myself in the job itself, foregoing my "me time" to catch up on extra work or making up for lost time with loved ones.

So I'm starting yoga. Yup, hippy-dippy yuppie bendy breathing practices that only I get to go to once a week for an hour and a half. No friends, no work phone, no shoes even, just movement and reflection on my body for nobody else's pleasure but my own. While yoga is a physical action that I project as imbibing my new "me time" the mantras are reminders I must give myself over and over everyday.

"Remember to breathe."

If I forget to breathe in this moment I can't help myself, I can't work, I can't love or communicate with others, I can't build foundations for any sort of momentous future....